Forever With You (Misfit Tattoo Book 1) Page 15

Best of luck,

  Harlow

  ***

  Toby

  “What the hell is he doing here?”

  Calista’s accusing tone was the first thing he was greeted with as he entered Harlow’s apartment, and it made him growl. He was already out of his mind with worry knowing Harlow was out there somewhere, and everyone else seemed to be panicking right along with him. Toby didn’t need this shit, too.

  Mel walked in behind him seconds later and clapped him on the shoulder. “The more people looking, the better. Right, Calista?” She eyed his woman’s best friend and continued to speak. “And he’s here because he loves her. He was just too idiotic to figure it out sooner. Don’t you, Tob?”

  He nodded. “I always knew. I just didn’t think I deserved her. Felt guilty, too.” He fisted his hands at his sides and faced the woman currently glaring at him. “I want to fix this rift I put between us. I’ve been working on it for days now, and I’m almost there. I will make this up to Harlow. I swear to every person here, I won’t stop till I make it right, and I vow that if I’m lucky enough to get her back, I will move heaven and earth to make her happy. Please tell me you figured out where she might be?”

  “Cut him some slack, will you?” Rebel cleared his throat as they walked in. “He’s telling you the truth. He asked for our help to pull it off.” He pointed toward Carson and back to himself.

  Calista eyed Toby the entire time Rebel spoke, as if she was trying to judge his sincerity. Carson moved to put his arm around her, and she seemed to finally relax. “Now can you put the man out of his misery and answer the question?” he asked.

  Calista nodded as she looked at the faces around her. Diamond, Melody, Rebel, Carson, and Toby all impatiently waited for her to spill. “I called Twin City earlier, and she didn’t drop anything off at the magazine. Said they hadn’t seen her at all in a few days, but that’s normal. Harlow works her own hours. As long as she makes their deadlines, they don’t care much. There are only a few other places I can think of. The coffee shop down the street, Dark Java’s. She loves the place. She could be at Lakewood Cemetery, where her daughter is buried, or she could also be wandering Lyndale Park. They’re open till midnight, I think. She goes there to unwind and admire the butterflies, hummingbirds, and gardens. Says it’s peaceful.”

  “Okay, I think we should split up. It’ll go much quicker,” Dee said. “Carson and Rebel can check out Dark Java’s. Carson’s been there before. Callie and Toby, you should team up and check out Lakewood. See if she went to visit her daughter. Mel, you and me will go to Lyndale together and then meet back up here. First couple of people to find Harlow texts everyone else to let ‘em know.”

  “That’s a good idea and all, but someone should probably stay here in case she comes back,” Carson replied. “Dee, why don’t you stay behind? Mel can come with me to the coffee shop, Reb can go check out the park, and Calista and Toby will still go to the grave. Check it out.”

  “Let’s roll.” Toby strode to the door and held it wide for everyone to get going. They had a plan now, and the sooner they went out looking, the better he’d feel. He wanted to quit wasting time.

  In their haste to get out of the building, they almost knocked over the person they were set to look for. Carson barreled into Harlow, and she almost fell onto her butt. Thankfully, Rebel caught her before any damage was done. Toby stood there frozen to the spot to check her out, make sure she was okay indeed.

  “What are you all doing here?” Harlow looked confused, worn out, and vulnerable. He fucking hated that. Before anyone could respond, his body moved into action without much thought. She was just feet away, and he couldn’t help himself. He had to feel her.

  “Scared the shit out of me.” He pressed his body against hers, cradled the sides of her face as gently as he could, and took her mouth, hungrily and possessively. These last days without her had been torture. After he’d drunk himself stupid the day he confronted her and then his staff, he’d read Harlow’s letter to Mel and realized his mistake. This woman in his arms was amazing, his second chance, and for some reason, she wanted him too. Kissing her was as easy as breathing. They just clicked, and it became instinctual. Harlow didn’t see it coming, but she reciprocated and gave as good as he did. So there was that.

  “Okay, Casanova, enough with the lip lock. I want some answers.” Calista crossed her arms and tapped her foot impatiently when Toby pulled back.

  Harlow looked dazed now, and his heart swelled.

  “Huh?” Harlow shook her head as if to clear cobwebs. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. I also don’t know why you’re all here or why Toby is kissing me again suddenly?” She turned to him, and he winced when she glared.

  “You haven’t talked to any of us in days, so Calista came over because enough is enough already. We planned a girl’s night, but when you didn’t show and wouldn’t answer your phone, we called the guys to help us look for you. Don’t ever do that to us again.” Mel wagged a finger at her and abruptly turned to go back inside the building.

  “Where were you, anyway?” Toby was curious.

  “I-I needed some air, and I hadn’t left the apartment in days, so I went to see Lily. I’ve been meaning to, anyway.” She sighed. “Also, my phone died the other day when I was avoiding everyone, and I never bothered to recharge it. It’s in my room.”

  They all climbed the stairs to a waiting Dee, leaning against the apartment’s doorframe. “I could hear your voices carry and thought I’d check it out. There’s our girl.” She winked as Harlow walked past.

  “I appreciate your concern, but if you don’t mind, I’m kind of tired. Rain check on the girl jam for tonight, okay?” Harlow looked him right in the eye then, and he could see she was still hurting.

  Fuck!

  “You’re all free to go now. Toby…” She gulped and lowered her head, no longer making eye contact. “As you can see, I’ll be fine. I’m sorry that you were inconvenienced tonight. I’ll make sure no one bothers you again where I’m concerned.”

  “Well, that’s too bad because I’m not having it.” Harlow let out a surprised gasp when he threw her over his shoulder and marched them both toward her bedroom for some privacy. “I have some things I need you to hear before you go kicking me out.”

  Harlow must have been too shocked to protest because she hadn’t put up any resistance to follow along. Toby turned to the rest of their entourage and addressed them. “We’ll need a few minutes of privacy, so make yourselves comfortable. Shouldn’t be too long.”

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Harlow

  She watched as her friends all gave them a thumbs up and headed to her living room. Toby entered her room, kicked the door shut, and gently sat her on the bed. He stood in front of her. “Listen, Toby. I’m so emotionally drained right now, I don’t have it in me to fight with you. At least not tonight. What do you want?”

  She crossed her arms and turned her head to look away, focusing instead on one of Lily’s photos on her nightstand. Her heart felt as if it had an open wound, and looking at Toby made it ache.

  “Christ,” Toby cursed. “I’m such an idiot.”

  Harlow gave him a curt nod. Although she could understand that he was probably trying to protect himself the other day, it was a misguided attempt. He was a fool for the way he treated her. Fool or not, she loved him. Didn’t mean she was going to make this easy on him.

  “I deserve that.” He sighed, and the bed dipped when he sat beside her. She tensed when he reached for her hand, and she felt so vulnerable. He’d nearly crushed her spirit when he walked out, and now this. She was so confused, hurt, and angry. Was he toying with her? Since visiting with her daughter, her emotions were all over the place.

  “Could you look at me, please?” he asked. He cupped the side of her face and gently moved her head so she’d look at him. “That a girl. Much better now.”

  Harlow closed her eyes. She needed a minute to gather her thoughts, then she opened the
m again. “When did you get the new tattoo?” Toby lowered his hand and looked at his wrist. She’d noticed the sunflower now inked there and was curious.

  “Look familiar?” Toby gave her a sad smile and touched the flower now etched onto his skin.

  “Should it?” she asked, examining it more closely.

  “Yeah, because it’s yours.” Toby cleared his throat. “I kept your drawing the night I taught you to draw the flower. You seemed so proud of it that it became special to me. Got it framed and put it on my mantle.” He shrugged. “Would you believe me if I told you I knew I made a mistake almost the minute I walked out your door? I’m a jackass, Harlow, but I was just so angry after I found that letter. Trust doesn’t come easily for me, and I’m messed up. I fucked up, period, especially with you. Mel fessed to writing it and going to you. I know now that it was kept personal. Should have took your word for it the first time, but I was scared. You terrified me because you made me feel things I had only felt for one other woman. It made me wonder if I was betraying her for being with you. I became happy again, and I didn’t feel like I deserved it. After I read your response to Mel, I got drunk, cried, and passed out. The next day, I gave myself your sunflower as a reminder of you always. Like it or not, you’re a part of me, Harlow, and I don’t want to let you go.”

  Toby choked up on the last words, and she gulped as she tried to stop her own tears from flowing. She’d cried enough in the last week to last her a lifetime. “What’s the plan now? You hurt me, Toby. I told you I love you and you crushed me. Incinerated my heart and walked out. How do I know that won’t happen again? Especially when you can’t even say it back. I can’t compete with a ghost.”

  “You don’t have to.” Toby got onto his knees and crawled in front of her. He grasped her two hands in his as if he was afraid she’d run away and pleaded, “I do love you, Harlow, but I don’t expect you to believe me right now. I plan to prove it to you, and I’m not giving up, so I’m begging you not to give up on me just yet. I get that I have issues, and I’ve set up an appointment to deal with them. I meet with Dr. Hartley the day after tomorrow for the first time. My physician recommended him. Told me he was a good shrink to talk to. I would love for you to come with me to a session, at some point, if you want to.”

  “Oh, Toby.” Harlow blew out a big breath she’d been holding and smiled through watery eyes. “I’m happy for you. Dr. Hartley has established a great reputation. I’m proud of you for taking that step. It hurts me to say this because of my deep feelings for you, but I need some time to figure things out. I need to know that you’re with me for me, one hundred percent.” She cried, and her shoulders shook as she ripped her hands away from his and brought them up to hide her face. Her heart beat faster when she felt his arms embrace her, and she savored that moment while she could. “I just need time.”

  “I can give you that,” he said. Harlow looked up when she heard Toby’s sniffle. He wiped his eyes on his sleeve to dry them. “But I’ve given you enough words tonight. Now it’s time for actions. As God is my witness, by the time I’m done wooing you back to me, you will have no doubt that you’re it. My second chance, and my forever.”

  Toby leaned over to kiss her on the forehead, lingering there before he placed one last peck on top of her head. He opened the door and looked back. “Take all of the time you need, but I’ll be in touch, Harlow. I love you.” The last part was on a whisper as he shut the door, and she found herself all alone again, listening to murmurs in the other room.

  She flopped back on the bed and curled into a ball. Her apartment became silent, and she figured everyone was gone.

  Calista knocked softly before announcing herself. She climbed onto the bed and spooned herself around Harlow from behind. Harlow appreciated the support. It’d been a long day, but tomorrow was a new one and a new start. Her fingers were crossed that Toby meant what he’d said, but only time would tell.

  Chapter Thirty

  Dear Harlow:

  My boyfriend’s ex just moved back to Minneapolis after working abroad for a couple years. In fact, the reason they broke up was because they couldn’t make the long-distance thing work for very long.

  Every time we go out, she seems to be there, as they have many mutual friends. She gets too friendly, and I hate it. We’ve been together about eight months, and I know I should feel secure in our relationship. I love him, but how do I compete with his ex when I know he still has feelings for her? You can see it whenever she’s around. I’ve tried talking to him about it, but I get nowhere. Help me Harlow. I’m going crazy here.

  Sincerely,

  ~Troubled Girlfriend~

  *

  Dear Troubled Girlfriend:

  The answer to your question is you don’t. There should be no contest. Although I can empathize with feeling like you need to compete. The ex is his past, and you’re his present. Sounds to me like you need to let your boyfriend know your concerns again until he listens. Both about his feelings for the ex-girlfriend and about the disrespect you’re given when she gets too friendly. If he has any respect for you and your relationship, he should put a stop to it. I’m sure if the tables were turned, he wouldn’t be happy with this situation, either. I wish you the best of luck, and if all else fails, you may need to dump him.

  My heart goes out to you,

  Harlow

  ***

  Harlow

  There was nothing like the classics. Richard Gere was currently on TV, picking up a very sexy-looking Julia Roberts in a fancy sports car. Say hello to the hooker meeting the gorgeous rich guy in this old school forbidden love story called Pretty Woman. Harlow sighed; if only it was as simple as in the movies. At least then, you were guaranteed a happily ever after, and she wanted one of those for herself.

  She picked up a handful of chocolate M&M’s and passed the popcorn bowl to Mel. A few days had passed since Toby had vowed to woo her, and she hadn’t heard from him since. It was depressing, yet she did ask for time. Words were one thing, actions were quite another, and she had to guard her heart better. Had to know for certain that Toby was ready to move on. Thankfully, she was currently in good company to distract herself from this funk she’d been struggling with.

  Girl’s night, yeah!

  “Damn, that Richard Gere is hot, for an older dude.” Dee wiggled her eyebrows suggestively as she poured them each a glass of margaritas from a big pitcher. After she finished passing them out, she set the jug on the coffee table and sat down with flourish. “This night has been long overdue. It’s nice to unwind with my peeps.”

  “Agreed,” Harlow said. She dropped a bunch of the little round, candied chocolates in her mouth and chewed. “Thanks for being here, you guys. I really don’t know what I’d do without you. I know I’ve been a recluse in the last week, and I appreciate your patience with me.”

  “Well, we love you.” Calista held her glass up. “Let’s toast to the good things in our lives. Here’s to great friends, booze, a bunch of junk food, and the fantasy men we admire in these chick flicks. May we one day find our own true loves, and may they cherish us like the goddesses we know we are.”

  “Couldn’t have said it better myself. Although I might add a salute to the good men out there who learn from their mistakes. Everyone deserves a second chance.” Mel clinked her glass against Harlow’s as Dee and Calista did the same.

  Dee snorted before she took a sip. “Very subtle, Mel.”

  “I’m sorry, okay.” Melody looked at Harlow with wide eyes. “I know he’s a dipshit once in a while, but I’m rooting for the two of you. You’re good for each other, and if it’s any consolation, he’s been just as miserable without you.”

  Harlow took another sip from her glass and sighed. “I’m rooting for us as well. I love him, but this experience made me realize I need to tread carefully. I need to know one hundred percent that he’s moved on before we can be together again. I’m sure Carley was a very lovely person. I’ve only heard great things about her, but I can’
t continue to compete with her memory. I deserve better than that.”

  “Nobody can fault you for feeling that way,” Dee said. “Carley was good people, and it’s tragic what happened to her. I also know she’d want Toby to be happy, and you’re it. It’s like comparing apples and oranges. They’re both different but equally tasty.”

  “It’s good to know I’m tasty.” Harlow shrugged, and they all had a giggle. She put down her drink when her phone started to vibrate. It was in her pocket, and she took it out. “Speak of the Devil. Toby just texted me.” Her heart beat quicker, and she got that excited feeling in the pit of her belly when she opened it. It was butterflies.

  “What does it say?” Calista asked. Each woman seemed to sit up straighter as if eagerly waiting for her to reply.

  She clicked on the text and read it out loud. “It says: I meant every word I said the other night. My step one to win you back was the sunflower tattoo. It was made special knowing that you were the one to draw it for me. Proof that you can draw with the right teacher beside you, and now that memory will live on always. My step two was the kiss I gave you the moment we locked eyes again after I’d been such an idiot. I was just so relieved you were okay. I poured all my feelings into that lip lock and kissing you was as easy as breathing. I long to do that again sometime soon. Now, this is my step three. Please click on the link. I’ll do whatever it takes, as long as it takes me, to make you believe. All my love, Toby.”

  “Wow!” Calista clutched her chest, while Mel and Dee gave each other a high five. “What’s the link for?”

  “Yeah, click on it already. We want to see it too.” Melody looked excited for her, and Harlow chuckled.

  “Whatever it is, it’s on YouTube.” The girls leaned over her shoulder to peek, while Harlow rubbed her hands together and clicked away with bated breath. Ash Harris’s face filled the screen, and she squealed. She was a huge fan of Love the Sinner, and to have the lead singer addressing you on the internet was a dream come true. What was Toby up to, and why was it his cousin’s face she was looking at and not his?